Lay-by: You're OK by me! (PM)

Lay-by rules, OK!

Until yesterday I had something on lay-by too! In fact, I could have picked that baby up earlier, but I strung it out a bit just to keep the anticipation alive. You know why? Because that makes me feel alive. Much more so than the empty feeling I get from dropping a few hundred bucks on a piece of clothing that I think is somehow going to bring me happiness and fill a void. More so than chasing the full and satisfying wardrobe that I imagine will substitute for a full and satisfying life.

Shit. Did I say that out loud?

I do love a lay-by and there was a time in my life when I was lay-bying laying-by putting things on lay-by all the time. Not just for financial reasons but because it made me feel better about the whole experience of buying things. It makes a purchase seem more considered and, therefore, more justifiable. And of course, the anticipation. In fact, I may just follow K's lead and put something else on lay-by too! What? I don't know! I don't care! Just so long as I can feel something. Anything!

Lay-by: You're OK by me! (AM)

Recently, due to  financial necessity, I bought something on Lay-by.  
This is not something I normally do. Usually, if I can afford the thing I want, I buy it. If I can't, I don't. I'm a simple woman and I don't like to mess around. (Just kidding, I love messing around).

But seriously. I lay-by so infrequently that I can pretty much remember every time I've done it.


The first ever thing I acquired via Lay-buy was this: 

He was a birthday present from my Mum and Dad when I was a wee crablet. He's a Care Bear Cousin, in case you don't know. The internet thinks he was called Swift-Heart Rabbit, but that kind of grandstanding didn't go down in my family, so I  just called him Robbie Rabbit. 

I'm pretty sure I had been begging my parents to let me have him for ages, but ours was the kind of household where you only got presents if it was your birthday or Christmas. They must have got sick of my begging, because long before my birthday, they took me to the toyshop, let me select Robbie, and then put him on lay-by. 


I had no idea what this lay-by thing was and when I look back on it now, I realise that taking a kid to a toyshop, letting them choose a toy they longed for,  taking the toy out of their mitts and telling them that while it was now theirs, they couldn't collect it for several weeks was one HELL of a gamble. You should have seen how ape-shit Baby went the other day when I took a heavy glass jar full of tea-bags out of his hands because I was worried he would drop it on his cute little baby feet and hurt himself and then J would be disappointed in my because I can't look after her son while she is making me a cup of tea (thanks for the tea, mate). And heavy jars of tea bags aren't even any fun! 

But I digress. The point I am slowly making is that instead of being traumatised when Robbie was taken away from me,  I was super, super excited. While I didn't get to take Robbie with me that day, I took home something else that was maybe even more awesome:  of course I'm talking about anticipation, readers. Anticipation! That delightful gift-with-purchase with every lay-by that makes not getting the thing even better than getting the thing.


Given this extremely positive start to lay-by, I really can't tell you why I haven't done more of it over the years. I guess I have been gorging myself on the instant gratification side of things, like a damned fool.  But those days are over, readers. When I collect my green coat in a week or so, I'm going straight to David Jones to lay-by the boots I have been eyeing off. And after that, who knows, this shit could go on forever. I guess it depends how our thermomix demonstration goes down.


But in summary, let me proclaim: Lay-by is the new way to K-buy!